My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Who are you?
Yourself.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Hitler was a dic-tator.
