Worst Jokes Ever
I got udder jokes too.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
If you're American coming into the bathroom,
And you're American coming out of the bathroom,
What are you in the bathroom?
European.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Why am I so sad?
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...