Worst Jokes Ever
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.