Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What is the hardest part to eat on a cabbage?

A: The wheelchair.

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)

Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Not Susie.

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The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

I work at a tire shop.

I'm pretty tired.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

What is a cow's favorite dance move?

The milkshake.

Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.

Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.

Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!