Worst Jokes Ever
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...