There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
Worst Jokes Ever
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Chupa mi polla.
BRUHS0UNDEFFECT!
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
