After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
Worst Jokes Ever
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
