Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
What do you call a dead human?
A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
My syndrome is down, but my hopes are up.
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.