Worst Jokes Ever
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
Pinto?
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
I got udder jokes too.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
If you're American coming into the bathroom,
And you're American coming out of the bathroom,
What are you in the bathroom?
European.