Worst Jokes Ever

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.

What’s the most artistic fruit?

Vincent mango.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.

The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"

"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."

Go commit Thanos finger snap.

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙

Read this:

Crack

What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

What is China's favorite restaurant?

The Pet Store.

My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

Your head looks like a joke.

Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.

I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.

What do planets like to read? Comet books!

I f*** my dad. Please help me. 😭😭😭😭

God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?

What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?

Ten-putt!