Worst Jokes Ever
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
Capitalism.
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
befhwnwbnwnbenwbenw.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?
Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.
Twin: Not funny, dude.
Why did the man say "hi ti bye?"
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂
One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Lol
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.