Worst Jokes Ever
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Don't touch my bot.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Six shila.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
A ginger.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
Two towers.
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.