Worst Jokes Ever
What should more fun than slapping a baby?
Deez nutz.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
I fell down the stairs once.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
A seal walks into a club.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.