Worst Jokes Ever
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
TDS? More like STDs.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
These jokes are offensive. Stop!
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.