Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
