Worst Jokes Ever
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?
Mo sal. F.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
My life #freemymanrkelly