Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
I am looking for Mike Roch.
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."
Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
