When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Worst Jokes Ever
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Get up, you lazybones!
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
