Worst Jokes Ever
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Your AMAMA.
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...