Worst Jokes Ever
Chihuahua?
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd get in the van if I were you...
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
Gamemaster10