Worst Jokes Ever
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
Nuts, nuts, nuts!
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
What did one orphan say to another?
"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
The joke is missing. Please provide the joke text.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."