Worst Jokes Ever
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
Your life is the joke.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."