A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
Worst Jokes Ever
Wat?
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
