Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
What do you call a pun that's bad? A bad pun.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
