Worst Jokes Ever
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Uranus is a gassy planet.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.