Worst Jokes Ever
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Saying balls go into pussy.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?