Worst Jokes Ever
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
These jokes are offensive. Stop!
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...