"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife is dead.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
Jake Paul's life:
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
