Worst Jokes Ever
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
Everything.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
If you thought other puns were bad, wait till you sea mine.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?
Son: No.
Dad: It hasn't come out yet.