Worst Jokes Ever
Sub to Pwediepie!
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
"Knife to meet you all!"
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Déjà Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Water?