You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Knock knock.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
I like whiteboards.
They're quite re-markable.
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
I'm life.
Why was the sun afraid of the ocean?
'Cause 7 8 9.
An Irish-man walks out of a bar.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”