Worst Jokes Ever
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
- Fsh.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.