What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Despacito.
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
How do you shrivel a dick?
You all suck!
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.