Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
My dignity to live.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.