I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.