What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Worst Jokes Ever
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
There's only one gender. Women are property.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
mnvsdvmsdnva.
My family is like treasure. I need a map and shovel to find them.
Add me on Xbox Live: ironstriker1316.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.