Worst Jokes Ever

It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."

Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

All of the jokes are just abuse.

Q: I wish my grass was emo.

A: Then it would cut itself.

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

Say, "Crack my fingers."

Now say that backwards...

We spend the weekend getting the poop out!

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

My life.

My life who?

My life is depressing...

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.

dfg.

If hi = hi?

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.