Worst Jokes Ever
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the only contraction they know.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
Capitalism.
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
befhwnwbnwnbenwbenw.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.