Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
"I created the Human Torch."
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Why is the Navy gay?
There all seamen.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.