Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Worst Jokes Ever
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
"Send me back, I never liked you."
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
Evan, mom hot?
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"