Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Worst Jokes Ever
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Your AMAMA.
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.