Worst Jokes Ever
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
Let's taco about something.
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
Once I was 7.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,
bin there, done that.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
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Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.