What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
Worst Jokes Ever
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
This shit is disgusting but funny.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
You're overreacting.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.