Worst Jokes Ever
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
What is a redneck's favorite color?
Blue.
You big gay.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.
There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.
What's the point of sex when you're gay?
Because only gay people jerk off.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.