Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
Why is a circle gay?
It's not straight.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
Lettuce ketchup.
Suck my butts, queer.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.