Worst Jokes Ever

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

Your life is the best joke ever.

Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.

What’s a bird’s favorite movie?

The Parrots of the Caribbean.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Two pencils walking down the street.

Which one hasn’t got AIDS?

The one with the rubber on.

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?

Pot wheels.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Your fat!

Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.

If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?

Haaaaaaay!