Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Quiz: Turn what for what?
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
Why is a circle gay?
It's not straight.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
Lettuce ketchup.
Suck my butts, queer.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.