Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fish without eyes?
- Fsh.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
I went to the store, and yeah...
What does Stephen Hawking eat?