Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
My dick is hard, what's your name?
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
My d*ck is hard, what's your name?
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.