Worst Jokes Ever
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Khalil Abubakar
You make the juice go through my power brick.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."