Worst Jokes Ever

Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.

They took him to PC World for repairs.

An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poker Face.

Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Answer: Tequila

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.

What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!

When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

I have a dad.

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Quiz: Turn what for what?