Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?

Nothing because they can't open the gift.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

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  • A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

    Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

    Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

    So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.