Worst Jokes Ever
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
My wife was run over.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.