Worst Jokes Ever
Hi boo!
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
Which mineral is impolite?
Ironically.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Aaron.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.