Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
"What is your number?" "Hi."
What is yellow and can’t fly?
A school bus.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
DEEZ NUTS!
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"