Worst Jokes Ever
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Sans: Zzzzzzzz
Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it dude?
Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Papyus: Grrrrr....
Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
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Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
Craig's name is now Craig William Duncan "Froo."
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.