Worst Jokes Ever

Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅

Pinto?

What do you call a male ladybug?

Trans.

So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.

He'll probably leave her alone now.

He doesn't eat vegetables.

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?

Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.

I got udder jokes too.

Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...

When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."

Ya gotta hand it to short people...

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

My friend David lost his ID.

Now he is just Dav.

What do you call a 18+ animal jam?

Play Wild!

If you're American coming into the bathroom,

And you're American coming out of the bathroom,

What are you in the bathroom?

European.

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.