Worst Jokes Ever
Uranus has 27 moons.
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
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Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
You
You
You're the cow.
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
Uranus spins on its side.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What do you call a black person swimming?
Cursed Minecraft image.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.