Worst Jokes Ever
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight(ate) nine.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Why is 7 afraid of 8?
Because 8 ate 9, 10, 11!
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
Follow me on Twitch at AKA_Benjamin.
When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,
he went to Ja-mall.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a homepage.
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.