Worst Jokes Ever
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
Uranus floats around in space.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
One word. Creeper.