Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Cow said."

"Cow said who?"

"Cow says moo you ding dong!"

Why do orphans go to church?

Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

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  • Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

    A: Depends how hard you throw them.